Saturday, 24 March 2012

twilight adventures: part three
























I am convinced that by making my way to the end of the first book, I am a less interesting person. I am still deciding whether or not to sue Stephanie Meyer for the dulling of my personality. Let me show you just how cringe worthy it all is. I'm in a state of disbelief that this was in fact written by an adult. A parent. A functioning member of society. Someone that should know better. Here we go:

'...he turned slowly to glare at me - his face was absurdly handsome - with piercing, hate filled eyes. For and instant, I felt a thrill of genuine fear, raising the hair on my arms. The look only lasted a second, but it chilled me more than the freezing wind.' p24

'I was in danger of being distracted by his livid, glorious face. It was like trying to stare down a destroying angel.' p56

'Gym was brutal. We moved on to basketball. My team never passed me the ball, so that was good, but I fell down a lot. Sometimes I took people with me. Today I was worse than usual because my head was so filled with Edward. I tried to concentrate on my feet, but I kept creeping back into my thoughts just when I really needed my balance.' p64


'He grinned his crooked smile at me, stopping my breath and my heart. I couldn't imagine how an angel could be any more glorious. There was nothing about him that could be improved upon.' p212

And finally, my personal favourite - a coma inducing minute by minute account of the psychology and inner turmoil of dress shopping:

'Jess was torn between two - one a long, strapless, basic black number, the other a knee-length electric blue with spaghetti straps. I encouraged her to go with the blue; why not play up the eyes? Angela chose a pale pink dress that draped around her tall frame nicely and brought out honey tints in her light brown hair. I complimented them both generously and helped by returning the rejects to their racks. The whole process was much shorter and easier than similar trips I'd taken with Renee at home. I guess there was something to be said for limited choices.' p134

While trying to enjoy this book, I was constantly distracted by the idea that if someone could write something like this and then sell and earn millions, it is well within my grasp to do the same. I worked as a middle school teacher for 3 years. Some of my 11 year old students could have written more engaging material than this.

I'm approaching the end of the second book now. It is a lot better. But I've realised that I need to give air time on this blog to things that are more worthwhile. Perhaps I'll write a post after I finish the series. I'm not sure. The point is, with any book series that manages to keep the reader interested, you start to feel close to the characters. Even if you really have to work hard to keep going with it, you emotionally invest in them. My hunch was right, in order to understand why people pay to go see this stuff on screen, you have to know the story in its 'filled out' form. To know why they respond like they do.

And that is why I cannot wait for the last movie. Help me.

4 comments:

  1. Hahahaha! If it makes you feel better, I think the whole work is looking forward to the next movie (fan or hater)... cause then we can finally put this twilight dog to sleep.

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  2. You need to be a teenage girl to fully appreciate the books. Your not on their wavelength so not likely to understand. The author obviously knows his audience and his stuff because of it's success. Don't knock success because you don't understand it.

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  3. I hear you! I think I was being a little bit facetious there anyway. Check Rach's comments on these posts, she's been explaining these to me well :)

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  4. Stephanie Meyer could have written Twilight in 200 pages and then edited it down to 100 pages

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