In what was probably the most straight up talk of the night, Amanda threw some punches at the idea that people only really seem to start to belong in our communities once they behave in a certain way. The idea that conformity in behaviour is paramount to being a valid part of a community. But Amanda made the case that this doesn’t appear to be anywhere near the character of Jesus who entered into relationship with those on the fringes and let those people makes changes if and when they felt led to.
Amanda acknowledged that this makes for messy church and a
heightened degree of vulnerability as we let go of being able to remain
comfortable in stereotypes. We leave the timing up to God as we build a
community that seeks to not alienate anyone. So in many ways this requires a
courageous church to really put this into practice, but the opportunity is
always there for us to spearhead true belonging and provide a compelling
picture of Heaven on Earth.
From the feedback it seemed that people are very conscious
that at a church like ours it is really easy to not look outside of our
immediate friendship groups and actively develop community. Most groups
acknowledged a need to get out of social comfort zones and exercise humility in
friendship groups, looking to give more. On a practical level, some feedback
reminded to simply follow up on invites to small groups so people feel
included.
There was also a strong concern in taking the belonging
principle too far, with questions being asked like what about disruptive
behaviour? What about those we ‘waste time on’ to the detriment of others? What
about those who want to be there but don’t want to belong? How does it look
structurally? People stressed the need for boundaries in partnership with this
thinking.
http://pressingon.org.nz/index.php?t=Belonging&type=Sermon&i=6
ReplyDeletethis is the extended version of my 'Belonging' Message... it addresses such issues as boundries and disruptive behaviour ... check it out if you have time :-)
What boundaries did Jesus put into place ?
ReplyDeleteWhat was Jesus answer to people with disruptive behavior ?
If the church represents the body of Christ then it should fall in line with what Jesus would do.
People who are disruptive are usually like that because of issues, hurts, brokeness. Would Jesus say it's a waste of time trying to deal with these people, or would he advise to be patient with such people. People who are damaged by life, other people, often the most damage is done by those closest to them, by people who should love and care for them. These people find it difficult to trust as their trust has been broken.
Would Jesus consider these people a waste of time, or are they the very people he came for.
Some people don't know how to belong as they may have grown up not really belonging to anyone, or the people they grew up belonging to may have hurt and betrayed them. How do you trust God the father when your experience is that fathers hurt you and are not to be trusted ?
Not everyone is lucky enough to have grown up with kind, loving, caring, supportive people around them. Some people grew up where the only person they can really trust and count on is themselves.
Would Jesus tell you to set boundaries for these people, would he tell you to give up on them as time wasters. Or would he encourage you to have patience and let these people take the time they need to learn to trust. It's much easier to be open and friendly to people who are like us, people who slot in easily and follow all the rules. People with ordinary everyday problems like our own. The challenge is to be more like Jesus and not to give up on the challenging people. The people with bigger issues and problems. Jesus came to heal them, not to hang out and have fun with the popular crowd.
You know, these people will push hard. They will push the boundaries and try your patience as much as they can because life didn't play by the rules with them. They became hard and uncaring building up layer after layer of a hard shell in order to Protect themselves and survive. Stripping off the layers to reveal the person underneath is a long, hard, unpredictable process requiring a lot of loving, caring, patient support. It's a very vulnerable time. Give up on a person during that process and you do way more harm than good as you end up reinforcing in them that people don't really care and can't be trusted. You hurt them badly as they started to trust and open up to you. You make them close up even tighter than before and they build a stronger wall around themselves. You teach them that churches and their God can't be trusted if he even exists which they end up believing he doesn't as they find no evidence of him. Just people preaching fulse promises of a loving God that cares, heals and changes lives. Their experience teaches them they were right all along. The only person you can truly trust and rely on in this world is yourself. They are no longer open to churches or Gods and avoid any personal contact with them. They don't believe or trust them and won't ever get close enough to be hurt by them again.
ReplyDeleteThis is my story
Of course it was suggested I try the living room. The designated area for all the outcasts who are not socially acceptable to the main church. No thanks !
ReplyDeleteI'll give churches and their Gods a miss and stick with the people who accept me and treat me like a normal person as I am.