vulnerability

Last Sunday was one of my all time favourite nights at Sunday @5. It was also very intense. Still discussing the role of the Holy Spirit, we talked about vulnerability and the freedom it can bring to people. We had a great time of people being open about their weaknesses and getting real about stuff. This really excites me because I want a church full of people who are willing to ditch the pretense and to really walk together in truth. I think we're heading in the right direction.

A book that I've been reading every now and then over the last year or so is a book called 'Abba's Child' by Brennan Manning. It's had a profound effect on the way that I see God and some of what this man has written is gold. So good for the soul. I thought I would share a few paragraphs. Read them slow!

This brokeness is what needs to be accepted. Unfortunately this is what we tend to reject. Here the seeds of corrosive self-hatred take root. This painful vulnerability is the characteristic feature of our humanity that most needs to be embraced in order to restore our human condition to a healed state.

It used to be that I never felt safe with myself unless I was performing perfectly. My desire to be perfect had transcended my desire for God... my jaded perception of personal failure and inadequacy led to a loss of self esteem, triggering episodes of mild depression and heavy anxiety.

Some of us believe that God is almighty and can do everything; and that He is all wise and can do everything; but that He is all love and will do everything - there we draw back. As I see it, this ignorance is the greatest of all hindrances to God's lovers.

...they over-extend themselves in people, projects and causes, motivated not by personal commitment but by the fear of not living up to others' expectations. Everybody will admire us but no one will know us.

...I have always loved you. And I have been waiting for you to hear me say that to you. But you have been so busy trying to prove to yourself that you are loved that you have not heard me.

Experiencing the inner healing of the heart is seldom a sudden catharsis or an instant liberation from bitterness, anger, resentment, and hatred. More often it is a gentle growing into oneness with the Crucified who has achieved our peace through His blood on the cross. This may take considerable time because the memories are so vivid and the hurt is still so deep. But it will happen.

May you know the God of love as a stronger force than the fight inside.

twilight adventures: part two

In the words of Rage Against The Machine: know your enemy.

It's in your head now right?

All this talk about KONY 2012 has highlighted the incredible power of social media. People have been quick to jump behind the cause because the campaign video clearly identifies the baddie. We want to stop the baddie. But by seeing the situation in a one dimensional manner like this, there is a possibility that we are ignoring other notable issues, like our apathy towards social injustice that requires more from us than passing on a video and wearing a wristband. This is not to say that Kony isn't evil, but that often by focussing on a person like this, we are blinded to other evils lurking in the background.

I feel this is very much what is happening with the popularisation of vampires and other ideas with some sort of connection to the occult. It seems that many are on the defensive at the mere mention of Edward Cullen. The same treatment was given to Harry Potter, I still remember pastors standing up and condemning those who were reading the books (pushing those people into secret lives of undercover book clubs and naughty giggles). For some reason, Narnia and Lord of the Rings were acceptable despite the wizardry, witches and magic.

But as far as these books go, the presence of these evil buzz words often blind us from what the real danger is, and as far as I can tell, this is exactly what is happening with Twilight.

I’ve always found the concept of romantic love a confusing one. How do you know if you really love someone? What is this feeling supposed to be like? How is one supposed to behave (or not behave...) within a romantic relationship? What we need is a walkthrough, some sort of guide – a love textbook if you like. A way to navigate these tricky waters. It seems that trashy teen romance books have risen to meet this need. Twilight is more at home in this category, rather than the supernatural.

So, you open up your Stephanie Meyer textbook on love and begin to be educated on how it is all supposed to work.

It turns out the way that it presents the role of the female within romantic relationship is really unhelpful. Bella is apparently a plain looking girl, pretty clumsy and above average at being socially awkward. Nothing special. But Edward, a god-like being with outrageous good looks is infatuated with her. He is ever present (even in her sleep), always there to rescue her, he is ridiculously attentive and is always fussing over her needs. Clearly this was the real reason he had to be a non-human.

Bella, in turn, is not required to compromise outside of choosing to love a sparkling, albino forest fairy over a regular guy. She is the passive recipient, and he is the faultless guardian angel. Never once does Bella ever have to work hard to keep the relationship afloat. Essentially it is about waiting to be noticed and then pursued. It is infatuation, not admiration or anything else.

And so the role of the male is to be the saviour, and the role of the female is to be helpless until saved. If you translate this into an embodied understanding of love, all girls are being told that life only begins when found by a guy. And if this hasn’t happened, buy some chocolate and a box of tissues and find a movie in which you can vicariously live a story in which Channing Tatum takes his shirt off a lot and cries when you don’t love him until you agree to grow old together.

What a one dimensional picture of life.

What a disempowering story to live out of.

What a narrow understanding of what the good life is.

What an unrealistic set of expectations.

Which forces us to ask the question – where is the true picture?

What is love?